Grownups

Can we please try to remember that this isn't Heaven yet...we're on the way, an imperfect journey, but we're gettin' there....together. I need for you to walk with me, I want to walk with you, we aren't walking alone...I need for you to be a little patient every now and then and you need me to be a little patient now and then. Thank you for bearing with our journey together...that we will be grown up boys and girls, as best as we can....

Planting....

Recently we had a fundraiser for Middle Tennessee Women's Retreat that I host each year in the Nashville, TN area. We sold bulbs...all kinds.

I love spring flowers. As a kid growing up in Mississippi,we had hillsides' full of jonquils, iris, hyancinths, etc, that were a clear sign that spring wasn't all that far away. I decided to get several different kinds of bulbs to plant in my courtyard and around the oak tree outside my front door, around some shrubs out there...I got 'em everywhere :).

Now that's all well and good....but I'm having quite the challenge!!! I have to fight the urge to go out there and scratch around in that loose dirt to see what's happenin' under the surface. I'm soooo anxious to see green things piping up outta that dirt!!!! I wanna see the blooms tomorrow.

Anything ring a bell here with anyone? Yeah, we plant a seed, really do want to trust God with it, and yet, far too often we "cave in" to trying to check up on how God's doing with our seed.

So far, all I've done is bend down to get a good look...hoping to see a blade or two. Help me Jesus!!!!!! I gotta remember that I need to let Him do whatever it is He does to make pretty flowers...I've done all I can do, now it's up to "the Grower". Help me remember, help me remember, help me remember!!!!

Joy

Wow, just experienced another Christmas season.....waiting for the New Year. Don't know about you, but this week "in between" is sorta "different" for me, started to say "weird", but that doesn't sound right..it's just a mixture, I think, of joy, rest, peace, sinkin' a little, reflecting, bit of fear of the future...trying to let go, looking ahead.

Right now, I have a deep thankfulness in my little heart and soul that in looking back on 2011, I can see His Hand more clearly now...why it takes me getting to the end to see it that clearly, don't know! In looking towards 2012, not sure what to think....but I'm thinking I'm thinking that if His Hand has been clearly visible and active in my 2011, then surely He's just gonna be more and more involved in 2012. That's what I'm thinkin' and believin' right now on this Wednesday evening.

I'm kinda thinkin' that I'll have as much of Him in the upcoming days as I will allow Him to be Lord of........ad

Missing someone

There are days, like today, when I'm more nostalgic than I am on others. I have no clue how that works....what triggers those memories that seem to be a wee bit more than just "thinking back". It's akin to "melancholy", I guess?

I just know that I miss Paul today....I really miss him. But you know what is just glorious? I miss the stew outta him, but it's not that stabbing, empty pain that it once was. It's almost like a warm blanket of comfort that reminds me he isn't far away.

And neither are those you love who are no longer on planet earth in their body. It's true...life is a vapor and then it's gone...and being here and gone is the finest of lines. Hallalujah!!!! Thank You, God for the memories that are continuing to heal.

Trust in the Lord

When the good times come, it's easy to get sucked into this belief that it'll always be this way...and I say "sucked in", because we seem to look and look and look for a way to have the "good times".

Of course nobody wants the "not so good times"....but let's be honest, some of our greatest "growing times" take place then. Trusting in the Lord with all your heart isn't for those who are looking and dwelling on getting to the "good times" as a goal. But those "good times" will come in your heart if you trust....whether the times are good or not so good.

"Miss"

In watching Game 1 of the World Series between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Texas Rangers, and seeing just now one of the Rangers striking out, I'm reminded how so many times that ball has missed my bat, as well :).

We grin, but don't we sometimes dodge the truth, if we can? Yeah, I've been way tooooooo slow in taking responsibility for "missing it"....would be so much easier to fuss about that ball continuing to miss my bat. I first heard this scenario from Gloria Gaither....seems that Benjy, as a little guy, and his grandmother were playing baseball and he frustratingly blurted out...."You did it again, Grandmother, you missed my bat again".:). Of course I grinned and thought to myself how cute Benjy's comment was.

Now, after a lot of years....it's just kinda convicting. How can God forgive that which I don't "own"? How can He help me to work through losses, goofups, disappointing circumstances if I won't admit my part in "missing it" and bringing it all to Him?

So, as I'm sure Benjy has learned by now, it's ok to miss....but not ok to blame anyone else...for obvious reasons :). I'm learning, I think!!!!!

Do I really see?

As I'm lovin' a simply gorgeous few days here in my little Middle Tennessee part of the world, I find myself more and more praying something like "Oh dear Lord, please don't let me miss anything as I'm walking around the block, driving to the post office, sitting in a long line at the bank's drive-thru lane...please focus my eyes upward, around, down, wherever You are 'showing up'.

I'm sorry to say that I've been notorious in going for days with scales over my eyes, I guess, 'cause I know I've missed a lot of God's handiwork and joy! I don't wanna do that any longer.

One of my best friends of encouragement, Bob Benson, used to say something like..."if you can walk 50 yards anywhere and not see Him, hear Him, feel Him, then you just aren't seeing, hearing, feeling. I agree, Bob Benson!!!!